Shadow healing: exploring the transformative depths

In the realm of personal development, shadow healing stands as a profound and often overlooked method for self-discovery and growth. Rooted in Jungian psychology, it delves into the aspects of ourselves relegated to the shadows — the parts we suppress, deny, or find challenging to acknowledge.

Shadow healing is a courageous journey of self-exploration, requiring a willingness to confront our hidden fears, insecurities, and past traumas. By shining a light on these concealed aspects, we unlock a pathway to profound transformation. Acknowledging and integrating the shadow can lead to enhanced self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a deeper connection to our authentic selves.

One of the primary benefits of shadow work is the liberation from the grip of unconscious patterns. As we unravel the layers of our psyche, we gain a clearer understanding of our motivations and behaviors. This newfound awareness empowers us to break free from self-sabotaging cycles, fostering healthier relationships and life choices.

Moreover, shadow healing cultivates empathy and compassion, not only for ourselves but also for others. Recognising our own struggles allows us to extend understanding to those around us, creating a more compassionate and interconnected community.

In the process of shadow healing, individuals often experience a heightened sense of purpose and fulfilment. By embracing the entirety of our being, we unlock the potential for a more authentic, balanced, and meaningful life. Shadow healing, therefore, is not just a personal journey but a transformative odyssey towards self-acceptance and genuine connection with the world.

Sarah


Consider Sarah, haunted by a fear of rejection rooted in childhood experiences. Engaging in shadow healing, she confronted this deep-seated insecurity. Through introspection and self-compassion, Sarah began unraveling the layers of her shadow. As she embraced the wounded aspects of herself, the fear lost its grip. Sarah emerged more resilient, confident, and capable of forming authentic connections. Healing her shadow not only liberated her from past wounds but also empowered her to navigate relationships with newfound understanding and openness.

Why is Shadow Healing necessary?

Embarking on the journey of shadow healing opens the door to a life of profound richness and authenticity. As we confront and integrate the suppressed aspects of our psyche, we pave the way for transformative benefits that extend into every facet of our existence.

One of the remarkable outcomes is a heightened sense of self-awareness. By shining a light on our hidden fears and insecurities, we gain a clearer understanding of our motivations and behaviors. This newfound insight acts as a compass, guiding us towards healthier decisions and actions. Imagine navigating life with a deep understanding of your own patterns, empowering you to make choices aligned with your authentic self.

The Authentic Self


The authentic self is the truest essence of an individual, unencumbered by societal expectations, external pressures, or the influence of others. It is the core identity that emerges when one embraces their unique values, beliefs, and genuine desires. Discovering the authentic self involves a journey of self-awareness and often, the courage to confront and integrate the various facets of one’s personality. This genuine self-expression is characterized by an alignment between inner thoughts, feelings, and outward actions, leading to a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and a deep connection with one’s true nature.

Using Emotion Code technique Belle can guide you towards your authentic self by testing how strongly you identify with your values and the beliefs that you hold. This process is a necessary part of your evolution as you will understand where those beliefs came from, and if indeed they align with your true nature. Read more about Emotion Code here.

Is your Job making you sick?

Have you ever wondered if your job is making you sick?
Whether your current way of working is keeping you in “survival mode” because of the “urgency” of all your projects and how you must act immediately and be available 24/7?

Are the constant headaches, the neck and shoulder tension, the aching lower back and the tummy bloating and pain is all a result of a really stressful job?
Is the anxiety you feel, the constant nervy feeling in your body, the restless legs and the the lack of energy all a result of your job stress?

Do you refuse to take time off even when you are sick with the snott monster and just want to sleep, because you have a fear of taking sick leave because of what other people think?

Do you push through and open your computer even when your whole body hurts?

I have worked with countless people during the pandemic and ALL of them have worked while they had virus symptoms.
ALL OF THEM.

Isn’t that a sad statistic?
It makes me wonder what kind of illness will actually justify you taking time off to rest, relax, sleep and convalesce?
I mean – how sick do you need to get in order to actually give yourself time to heal?

The problem is that we have skewed the priorities of what is important and have decided that “letting others down” is more important than recovering from an illness our bodies have never had to fight before.

If there is one time in our lives that it is important to give our bodies rest, it is during this pandemic and we have symptoms!

The hustle of having to face emergency after emergency is not limited to hospitals – it can be bosses who yell, are moody, are unpredictable and lack empathy that will create stress in your mind, which moves to your body.
Time critical projects, and the feeling that you simply MUST keep grinding otherwise your job may be on the line, builds in your system as levels of stress hormone, which puts pressure on your heart and other organs.

In my opinion Working From Home has been the WORST thing to happen to workers since industrialisation! Why? Because it means you are working from the moment you wake up – unless you have excellent work/life boundaries in place.

Hands up if you have started work at 7am, (while the house was quiet) and worked through lunch, and then quickly put washing out, then vacuumed, then picked the kids up from school and then cooked dinner and then “finished off those last few things” after 8pm?

And please don’t forget what happened to your nervous system during lockdown, when you had to work a 40+hour week AS WELL AS managing the home schooling / preschool care AND all meal times and the increase in household cleaning due to everyone being home 24/7.

Our bodies were simply not designed to operate at high intensity all the time. We are designed to rebalance, recuperate and come back to a baseline.

The question I ask is, could your job be making you sick?

The answer is a resounding YES. Look at how many companies have defibrillators in their buildings. I am not saying the relationship is causal, but I do believe that the constant stress workers are under, plus interpersonal relationship strains, financial pressure and questionable lifestyle habits all create the perfect environment for cardiac events. And that time-sensitive project may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

I believe it is time that we started to re-prioritise how we view work and what it is doing to our wellbeing.

It is important for each worker to take personal responsibility for their own care and wellbeing. The old adage – if you don’t care about yourself, no one else will, holds true here.
This also includes employers taking responsibility for the environment they create for themselves and others.
The way we live in our modern world is very different to centuries past, however the hustle is only increasing, and the demands on our physical and mental wellbeing is increasing. There is no end in sight except for a holiday each year (if you can afford it) and then it is right back into the grind.

As someone who is living and working in their ideal career, and has created a workplace that I love to go to, I feel sad that this is not the experience of many people I work with. The majority only work because they “have to” and if they could they would retire as early as possible. Or they would work in a different industry for lower pay if they could afford it.


The feeling of being trapped by your work, or the number of hours you must work is a key ingredient that causes a spike in the stress hormones in your body and makes you feel pretty miserable in general. Cranky, irritable, poor sleep, hormonal shifts, weight gain, depression and increased anxiety are all to be expected when 5 days per week you are hating having to work, but feel that you “must”.

What can you do about it?

There are plenty of options. The first is to quit.
However, I am pretty sure that you will give me a myriad of excuses as to why this is absolutely not the solution.
The second option is to ask for a pay rise – but would more money make you like your job more?
The third option – drop the number of days you work – but can you live on a reduced income? (Most people can, they just don’t want to make those budget adjustments).
You could look for another job – but this requires effort that you may not have the energy for.
You could begin studying so you can move into the career that you dream of – but this will bring up lots of limiting beliefs and lack of confidence or self -esteem issues you have buried. And this may feel too scary to tackle right now.

^^^^^ This is the list my clients give me and all the excuses that arise when we look at those options.

Here is another way

You can choose to work on the thought patterns that make you stressed, your beliefs around work and why you keep showing up the way you do. You can release the trapped emotions that are keeping you stuck in the loop of hustle and grind. You can work on developing incredible self-esteem so you can put firm work boundaries in place which ensures rest and recovery as part of your workday.

Emotion Code and Energy Healing are the tools that WILL turn your life around. but don’t expect a magic healing in one session! There is a process you need to undergo in order to un-pack the energy strands you are holding, and to re-wire your brain to THRIVE on rest rather than STRESS!

This is why I have created a Nervous System Balance program that is especially for people who are feeling the effects of a high-stress work-life and who want to enjoy their life and start thriving again.

The program is designed to be completed over 6-8 weeks, and involves 6 90min balancing sessions. I will help you to develop a quick daily practice of simple to follow exercises that are proven to re-balance your nervous system, which will reduce the stress you feel in your body.
– identify your blocks and self-sabotage that keep you feeling stuck
– learn how to reduce the mental chatter that keeps you stressed
– sleep better
– feel more calm
– feel more in control of your life
– improve your relationships
– get your mojo back
– enjoy life again

Don’t wait until you get really sick before you start to take back control and turn your life around.

The Wild Woman

 

I feel the call of the wild woman. She is whispering to me through the breeze as I write this laying out on the grass on a warm spring day. She is calling me back to an ancient time where women were revered and honoured as divine incarnations and wondrous, life giving creatures.  A time that was focused on respect for wild woman as the community thrived because the wild woman thrived. This is the call whispering to me on the breeze, gently leading me back to the alignment of me with my source energy.
I love the writing and work of Clarissa Pinkola Estes “Women who run with the wolves” and as I think about her teaching of who the wild woman is, I can see how she is showing up in all aspects of my life in this season of growth and change that I am in, but in truth, she has been there all along.

How do you recognise your wild woman?

She establishes territory

She finds her pack

She is in her body with pride

She is aware and alert

She is intuitive

She embraces her cycles

She rises with dignity

She retains as much consciousness as possible

(Clarissa Pinkola Estes – Women Who Run With The Wolves)

 

Long ago as we woman we lost our voice, our power and our spirit; as a result, our belly has started to lose its fire. Woman has snuffed the passion due to fear of rejection, fear of ridicule and fear of hostility against her.

Wild woman calls me to trust that it is safe to return to the source of my vibrancy again. When I was a child I was chastised for being loud, too playful, too showy, too sexy to the men looking on. I had no idea, but I started to think something was wrong with me for the way I looked and made others feel.

 I was encouraged to sit with my legs crossed, or at least with knees together. I was admonished by my own kind – a female teacher – at the tender and impressionable age of 10, for wearing make up to school. My eyes were rimmed with black as coal lashes and my eyebrows were just as dark. My eye lids were blushed with shades of pink and brown. The palette my eyes had been painted with was not of a make-up kit but created by God and I was somehow made to feel self-conscious and “bad” as I tried really hard to wash it off at the request of the teacher. When the teacher threatened to send me to the principal I cried out “but there is nothing on my face. It is just my eyes.” The teacher let it rest, but she didn’t apologise or step back from her anger. I knew in that moment that something wasn’t quite right with me, and that I needed to not stand out. And I was determined to find out what it was that made me stand out. I was also resolute in deciding that I would be perfect from then on, so that I couldn’t get in trouble. Perfectionism became my way of controlling my world.

I realised that my natural beauty and bright energy that shone forth was scary to other women, especially to those who had long since turned their back on their own wild woman essence. It made them uncomfortable and competitive. Subconsciously it also made them ashamed.

I felt from the inside the pull of my wild woman from a very early age. I loved to admire myself in the mirror and was often touching myself because it felt pleasurable. I would take pride in my appearance and I would be proud of the reflection I saw. I was told “nice girls don’t do that” or “stop showing off”, so I was confused as a child – I could feel the inner energy of pride, self-love and self-acceptance pulling at me. But was I supposed to ignore it? Was it some evil force trying to deceive me? Was I naughty? Or, was I simply under the authority of a woman who had ignored her own wild woman when she came calling for her?

I’ve felt the energy of judgement slam against me from many females during my lifetime. From primary school to high school, to the early years navigating the young adult world of bars and clubs. I reached for and sought out romantic liaisons while at the same time learning how far to step into new social groups before I attracted the viciousness of the female members.
This reminded me of a pack of wolves (or dogs) that were fiercely protecting their own males and after reading Estes’ work, I realise that my wild woman was making the other woman compete and want to fight.

I’ve received hostile glares and rejection because I am a stranger, a beautiful one at that, a wild woman who embraces her sexual fire and isn’t afraid to be consumed by it. But I had to choose between female friends or romantic interludes. One couldn’t possibly have both in groups (or packs) where the other woman who were not yet on fire.

My wild woman taught me early on that I never need compete for a man’s attention (she shudders in horror at The Bachelor), instead I trusted in the divine law of attraction. Knowing that if a man wasn’t into me – and only me – then he wasn’t for me at all. I made young men angry in my early life, as I was ignorant of the power I held, as they mistook my affection and kindness for sexual interest. I was called names like “tease” and “slut” when their gestures were still received by me with legs firmly closed. This made me even more confused and yet more eager to please and be perfect – which in turn made them angrier, as I was then “the full package” – but still my legs wouldn’t open for them. What was I doing wrong? I wondered.

If I can’t be accepted by the women for fear of competition or rejection, and I can’t be accepted by the men for fear of them hating me for their unrequited love….then to whom did I actually belong and where did I fit in?

As so I began to be a lone wolf and run without a pack. A woman without her tribe who drifted in and out of groups and relationships knowing her heart fully belonged to one man – of whom she’d never met, but had felt him calling her to him since she was a little girl.

Consequently, as I grew older and my fire was all but snuffed out, the more ignorant of their own wild woman my “friends” became. Telling me to stay in relationships (like they were doing), living day in day out in relationships that poisoned their spirit and dulled the senses. Their reasoning “you have made a choice” “you are married” and words to that effect. Slowly my internal fire was gone and I was still alive but mostly dead in spirit. My physical body became sicker more often and the lustre in my hair and sparkle in my eyes faded. My wild woman called me and at times my ears pricked up, my skin bristled and my lustful (creative) energy returned and I felt more like “me” (a woman I didn’t know but firmly knew was there somewhere). But it was only for short glorious moments, and then my fire burned out again and I further shrunk into that pathetic small version of myself that I had once scoffed at when I recognised it in other women.

The call of the wild woman is an ancient phenomenon; however it was my modern computer – more specifically – my laptop – that is responsible for helping me to find my pack and re-enter the world of the living. I had never owned a laptop before, and so I was only ever at my computer when I was working. Having young children meant I couldn’t spend hours in my office scrolling the interweb, so I could only ever search for information in short, distracted bursts. Buying a laptop opened a world that I had no previous access to, and from the comfort of my lounge and near my cubs, I was able to step into another world of spiritual growth and community and connection by one google search. I lustily read every page I could let my eyes land on, from magick to mythology to energy healing. My mind was thirsty for information and I drank it in, night after night after night. My husband at the time mocked me asking “why do you want to read that for?” and I would dumb down my responses and not let on that I was doing my soul’s work and I was changing. My mind and spirit were being nourished and I was blossoming again into the woman of inspiration and power that I had once been before.

Forums and community groups were my favourite and I loved the interaction on Facebook with people I had once known and then lost contact with. I was chained to my kids, the house and work through the day light hours but at night when the kids were in bed and my husband was otherwise occupied watching banal tv shows, I would hunt for information of the mystical world of quantum physics and the effect of speaking words of love over water molecules!

 

I howled to the moon each night as I lay in bed next to a perfect stranger, a man who had thought he had tamed me, but had no idea that each day I was waiting to pounce on my prey, growing stronger and braver and more resolute. I took more chances creatively and allowed myself to dream again – for my future and for my children’s future. I practices being intentional in meditation and exercise and food choices and I watched as my physical and emotional body began to be equally as strong as my spiritual body.

 

No longer a lone wolf, I had become a part of a pack of women who were independent, yet dependent on each other for nurturing, care and protection. The unknowing leader of my pack was singer/entertainer Pink, the fiercest of the 

wild women in our modern world. A woman who epitomises what it means to be a wild woman, who blazes the trail proudly and loudly and her energy ignites the spirit of others when their time has come to allow their essence to transition with the call. With her music as my personal sound track I left an unhappy marriage and took my cubs into a new home that valued expression; playfulness and creativity; which essentially breathed life and self-confidence into all of us again.

The wild woman doesn’t cry over spilled milk nor does she admonish her children for accidents. The wild woman soothes her child who is scared she has made a mess, and begins to make milk pictures with her fingers in the milk on the floor. The wild woman fully embraces her children who want to act like a cat, insisting on drinking milk from a bowl on the floor. The wild woman teaches her cubs to be comfortable in her own choices and encourages her to wear dress up clothes to bed or skip the bath and wear day clothes to bed “just this once”.
The older women watching on, who have ignored their wild woman, are horrified by non-conformity to rules. But this wild woman knows her duty to her own female children to keep fanning the fire that already burns brightly inside of them.

For a period I began dating again only to realise with every dinner or lunch or coffee the man I longed for and already knew in my heart, was yet to appear. My wild woman was ready to find her mate. But each time my heart was crushed or I laughed a heaty belly laugh at the ludicrousness of the dates I went on, I realised that something had to change. (I think this is where my Wise Woman began to appear – but she is a story for another time).  I made a deal with God “you choose Him and bring Him to me – because I am crap at this”. And I cried and cried and cried as I surrendered my heart to the One who created me. I had to learn to live without wanting to force anything, but to trust that my beloved would show up in perfect timing. I wrote a letter to my beloved and I used rich romantic tones, I wrote words I had never uttered to another man in my life. Somehow it felt strange yet familiar, almost like I had spoken them to him in another lifetime. I folded the letter, held it to my heart and breathed in what I felt like it would feel to embrace him. This man I attracted to me could not be just any man. He must be emotionally strong, yet vulnerable. He must be incredibly masculine, but in tune with his softer side. He must be romantic and an expert lover, yet teachable and house trainable, and he must have an unwavering desire for me. That is all.

Then I placed the letter in my bedside table – what would be his bedside table- when we finally met.
He appeared in my life six months later, as handsome and chivalrous and lusty as I had imagined he would be. I had dared to dream to find a man who would ignite a spark in me that only my man could ignite, and a man who would be the guard and protector and example to my children as well.

And so that brings me to present age, where I feel the wild woman sitting peacefully in the back ground of my true essence now. She ebbs and flows as needed, guiding me, helping me to create, to lead, to explore and to be adventurous. She teaches me that life is worth fighting for and protecting. And mostly she paves the way for the Wise Woman who always follows the awakening.

With my Wild man by my side we have created a rich and exciting life that breathes on its own and fans its own flame. I have chosen wisely the partner who will run freely with me through highs and valleys, always running at the same pace, and always returning to our essence when life throws us off course.

 

 

Feeling Stuck? Practice Thankfulness & Gratitude daily

 

Who is feeling stuck??? You know the feeling…it is icky, you feel strangled somehow, like you are in a straight jacket and cant wiggle free.
Feeling stuck is the SIGN you were waiting for!!!
Feeling stuck means that it is becoming too uncomfortable for you to stay where you are…and that means things MUST change!

 

Only problem is, we can wriggle a little, wrestle a little, and then we have a bit more breathing room, and then we think “oh, this is all too hard, i think i will just be happy with what i have got” (or similar).
Problem is, we will run out of room again, and again, and again….until the pain of this cycle becomes too much!

I have totally been there! MANY TIMES. It is the sure sign that things can move in the direction of your dreams…if only you will have the courage to keep going.

So HOW DO YOU MOVE THRU YOUR FEELING OF BEING STUCK?

You start writing in a journal….asking these questions daily:

“what do i need to feel fulfilled?”
“what does being fulfilled FEEL like?”
“what is my biggest, most daring, most audacious desire?”
“what would it FEEL like to achieve this?”
“what would my life LOOK and FEEL like if I achieved this?”
“how can i live my BEST life?”
“how can i GIVE BACK?”
“what kind of money do i need to be making each month in order to fulfill my dreams of blessing others and giving back?”

“Universe / God / Divine – please open the door to opportunity and help me to see opportunities as they come to me. Allow my eyes to be opened to joy, to help me be thankful for all that I have, and to have a heart that is wide open to receive all the love possible in this world.”

Practice writing down 3 things you are thankful for in your life every day! Make them small things, make them BIG things….just do this – EVERY DAY for at least a week, and see how your attitude changes.

BE PREPARED for people or situations to try to drag you down! It is a TRAP, and it a privilege to experience the trap because it means that we get to PRACTICE looking for the positive, or things to be thankful for. Only when you can start to see the positive in everything…most things…(looking for the SILVER lining) can you be assured that your mindset is shifting.

Life can be hard for people when we are trained to look for the crappiness,. It is like we are hard wired, from our parents, grandparents, extended family, teachers and social circle, to expect hardship. So often entrepreneurs are faced with negativity from those closest to them (hint: they aren’t entrepreneurs, and they think differently to you!) and it can drag you down. Be sure to practice your thankfulness and positive mindset daily, to ensure that you can be the shining light in this dark and moody world!

Manage your stuck-ness, BREAK THRU and be a light to others! Don’t expect others to follow you, or copy your mindset at first. Just be thankful they are noticing and realising their own “stuckness” too. You will realise when this happens cos people will say “gee you’re always so positive!” (with a tone that infers they think you are weird!)
BE POSITIVE ANYWAY!

If you REALLY want your life to change and look and feel better, you have to make a daily commitment to practice new skills of THANKFULNESS, REFLECTION, and ASKING in order to get there.