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Soul Alchemy: unlock your inner compass

– Soul Alchemy begins 12 February 2024

Embark on a 90-day transformative journey guiding you towards a more empowered, grounded, and purposeful existence.

Are you ready to unveil what has been holding you back, and start living with a deep sense of self-trust and authenticity?

a journey to re-connect with your highest self

Go from feeling exhausted all the time, and never having enough time, to carving out just the right amount of space for you to fill your own cup AND tend to those who need you the most.

But first, let’s make sure you are in the right place

Are you a woman who:

  • feels tired and overwhelmed
  • is scattered or a bit “busy” in her thoughts
  • feeling like you have lost your purpose (but know its right under the surface!)
  • is searching for deeper meaning
  • deeply desires to connect more deeply with your inner wisdom
  • has a spiritual practice but are seeking a mentor and guide
  • has a desire to powerfully manifest your future
  • tends to be a lone wolf (but always thrives with strong feminine connections)
  • is independent and strong and has always been resilient

Then you are in the RIGHT PLACE. This is for a woman just like you.
This journey is not an introduction to a spiritual practice, because you already have one. This is about expansion and enhancing your success and life satisfaction with a deeper connection to your true self – your higher self.

As a result of your inner work, you will be liberated from the weight of exhaustion and the feeling of living a life that may seem, at times, incomplete. It will bring you closer to your most pure alignment with all that you are and with Source.

This isnt another “coaching” program that will give you a few tips and tricks and not deliver on promises. This is a spiritual journey that you will lead yourself through, in perfect timing and in a perfect way. How? Through the tools and practices you will be offered, your Higher Self will lead you – so you KNOW that this is a journey of pure alignment.

Soul Alchemy

This is one of the most powerful programs Belle has ever channelled and brought to life. This is a 90-day program that combines her deepest and most transformative healing techniques, including her just launched “Soul Mapping” technique.

Experience Inner Child healing, Shadow work, emotion release, trigger release, and learn how to actively nurture and heal the parts of you that are repeating patterns and cycles that never lead to where you want to be!

With Soul Alchemy in just 90 days you will:

  • recognise which parts of you are needing support and how to nurture them
  • re-connect with your Inner Child to bring peace to your body and mind
  • develop incredible inner confidence & trust
  • create a disciplined spiritual practice
  • identify energy leakage and know how to stop it
  • connect to your feminine archetypes so you step into your unlimited power
  • muscle-test for embodied wisdom use somatic movement to release and ground

Through soulful practices and intuitive insights, we carve a path toward genuine happiness and fulfillment.

The Soul Alchemy program is an invitation to rediscover the missing piece, as we align your journey with the whispers of your soul’s wisdom.

Who is this for?

Any woman who needs a guide, and a support system, but also wants to do their work alone. (The Lone Wolf meets the Sisterhood).

Any woman who has found that there are incomplete parts of her spiritual journey and wants the answers (The Seeker meets the Mystic).

Any woman who is READY to go to the next level of inner expansion.

About your guide: Belle
My expertise is in guiding women back home to self. I have many years of teaching meditation, somatic movement and understanding trapped emotions to share with you. I am also a passionate biochemistry nerd, and I will share my understanding of neuroscience and the power of boosting our happy hormones, to align more fully with our highest self. I will work with you from a spiritual perspective and also with the understanding that you are a human being, first and foremost. That means you need to be firmly planted and grounded in this present reality. I will teach you how to ground yourself in a meaningful way. I will also teach you how to connect to all that is. You will learn how to use the language of the body as your primary feedback system. You will also learn how to trust your gut.


This 90-day immersion will be your launching place into a transformative journey toward profound self-discovery, where the sacred alchemy of spiritual healing unfolds, guiding you to a deeper connection with your higher self.

Are you keen to know more?

Book a Discovery call with Belle by clicking the button

Book a Discovery Call here
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Frozen shoulder and healing your mindset

To me, it is no surprise that researchers have proven what we massage therapists already know: soft tissue massage beats a gadget or device any day of the week!

“Massage therapy has been my life’s work since I was twenty years old. I breathe it, I live it and I believe it works. However along my journey I have been guilty of wishing I had a hand-held device I could use on clients that would help them (and also give my thumbs and wrists a rest!) There are many gadgets available globally, that claim magical healing powers, and I have used a few to limited clinical success, however, I always come back to what I know – there is healing power in our hands, and when used in conjunction with our understanding of anatomy and functional movement, plus a little intuitive magic, we can encourage the body to heal itself in a far more effective way than a machine or gadget can.”

Belle Flowers
It may not all be physical. Sometimes pain is coming from thought patterns.

Frozen shoulder is a fairly common complaint that causes pain and disability in moving the arm up or behind the body. It can really affect your daily life – think about it: can’t put a bra on, catch reach above your head to the clothesline, driving a car becomes difficult.
Traditional treatment includes anti-inflammatory drugs, cortisone shots, physio, and drastically – surgery.
However before you get to all this, perhaps there is a less intense option that you may want to try first?

A Toolkit of Solutions

A good remedial therapist will usually have a toolbox full of techniques they have learned and adapted to their treatment routine. Possible techniques could be energy healing, stretching, yoga, mindfulness, kinesiology and taping/strapping. An excellent remedial therapist will understand the metaphysical connection between mind and body, and as such will be able to assist with deconstructing the limiting thought/pattern/behaviour that has contributed to the injury or issue.

Metaphysical Reasons for Pain

Pain or stiffness in the shoulder will often result from “carrying the world on your shoulders”, feeling over-burdened, and being weighed down by the mental load of your responsibilities. Too often people perceive their responsibilities to be solely reliant on them, not asking for help, nor being able to see that their burden has oftentimes been due to their own beliefs. Becoming rigid in your thinking about yourself, and your responsibilities can often be the root cause of your pain. Remember your shoulder didn’t “freeze” overnight. It took months or years to get to this point. It can begin to thaw, when your thinking habits relax too.
If you are a “helper” and have a lot of people to care for, you are a sitting duck for frozen shoulder. Likewise, anyone who feels validated by being in service to people. Someone who is always feeling a little insecure of themselves, and “over-gives” could have shoulder stiffness or twinges that may turn into something more over time. People-pleasers often get frozen shoulder, or pain in their shoulders too.

Neck pain is often the result of your inability to “change your point of view” regarding a person or situation in your life. OR even about yourself. The rigidity of mind is the real pandemic in this world – people seem to believe their thoughts are absolute truth, without even questioning them.

“The first thing I do when working with a client with neck or shoulder pain is to question how they see their world. Their point of view is often what is contributing to their pain.”

Belle Flowers

Every single client has a fixed mindset when it comes to challenges, or how they see the world – yet with a little gentle probing, they can begin to unravel their minds strings, and release their tight grasp on how they see the world – letting go is all about releasing, taking the hands off the wheel, trusting and being open to more possibilities.

The Research

The research however is clear – soft tissue massage is more effective for managing injuries that have resulted in neck and radiating arm pain, than ultrasound (commonly used by a physio). Simply applying an ultrasound may “feel” like something is happening that we can’t see, but it probably ain’t worth your time. OR money.

Tender points in the muscles of your arm may also increase the sensation of neck or arm pain, meaning that massage earlier in the injury’s timeline could help decrease the duration of pain and subsequent loss of range of movement. This is often the case in “frozen shoulder” issues. Left too long, the pain becomes unbearable, and eventually, movement is impossible. It is a cumbersome healing process, rather tedious at times, but massage therapy is and should be, the first approach at the slightest sign of loss of shoulder movement. (Of course, get your scans done, and rule out contributing factors).

Mental Health is impacted by chronic pain

Because chronic pain causes a risk for decline in mental health, it is important to begin your healing process as soon as you cam. Dont put it off! Massage has been shown to increase levels of serotonin (which stabilises feelings of happiness and mood) and dopamine (helps you to feel pleasure, motivation and satisfaction), the obvious choice for injury treatment and recovery is soft tissue massage, alongside common rehab routines such as stretching, strengthening, ice and rest. But let me add one more not-so-common treatment for frozen shoulder pain – intuitive healing and counselling.

What next?

Releasing you of the limiting beliefs causing your body to lock up, stiffen and freeze should be paramount – so it doesn’t happen again! Read more about Emotion Code healing here.

Belle is a holistic pracitioner who works with the physical, emotional,mental and spiritual layers of a person. No session is the same. Just like no person is the same as anyone else.

Talk to Belle today about how she might help you.

REFERENCES

Michael Costello, Emilio ‘Louie’ J. Puentedura, Josh Cleland & Charles D. Ciccone (2016) The immediate effects of soft tissue mobilization versus therapeutic ultrasound for patients with neck and arm pain with evidence of neural mechanosensitivity: a randomized clinical trial, Journal of Manual & Manipulative Therapy, 24:3, 128-140, DOI: 10.1179/2042618614Y.0000000083

TIFFANY FIELD, MARIA HERNANDEZ-REIF, MIGUEL DIEGO, SAUL SCHANBERG & CYNTHIA KUHN (2005) CORTISOL DECREASES AND SEROTONIN AND DOPAMINE INCREASE FOLLOWING MASSAGE THERAPY, International Journal of Neuroscience, 115:10, 1397-1413, DOI: 10.1080/00207450590956459

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Pregnancy and Depression

There is hope. You can feel better.

Spotlight on DEPRESSION in PREGNANCY and POSTPARTUM:



Pregnancy is a really special time and one that can brig such joy. BUT let’s be real – in this covid world, pregnancy can be tinged with fear. And fear can lead to feelings of depression. You might have an unwanted pregnancy; be in an abusive relationship; or be feeling unwell.
There are so many reasons why depression comes knocking, but there isnt a lot of help out there, and many women feel ashamed that they are feeling the way they do.


Belle is an expert in working with pregnant women, helping them feel safe, calm and in control. And she can support you if you are experiencing depression – no matter the cause.
Belle explains:
“Research by my hero Dr Tiffany Field (Uof Miami) has shown that massage therapy is superior to muscle relaxation or mindfulness in its effect on bringing down levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in women who have 4mths of pregnancy massage. “

A simple massage with experienced hands not only helps to reduce cortisol but INCREASE serotonin and dopamine (neurotransmitters).


POSTPARTUM:

As many as 30% of women experience postnatal depression in the first 3mths following childbirth. In another study by Dr Field, it was shown that mums experienced LESS anxiety after a 5-week period of massage therapy each week of only 30mins.

What about the babies?

The babies were found to have HIGHER birth weight and a lower chance of premature birth AND lower cortisol levels, too after having experienced massage whilst in utero!



How can Belle help you?

When Belle works with you during a Pregnancy massage / healing session, she brings her expert care and experience into the room. BOTH you and bub are catered to, and BOTH will experience the benefits of a 60min treatment. In the study mentioned above, the participants experienced EITHER massage, OR muscle relaxation processes, OR mindfulness practice…..in YOUR session with BELLE you will receive ALL 3 practices…..triple the benefits!


If you are anxious, depressed or just a little nervous, Belle’s healing hands and comforting approach to healing can help you to feel better. Give her a call today and begin your process of healing.

Reference:

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Intuitive Healing Massage

More than just massage – it is about releasing long-held trauma

I recently received Client feedback after an Intuitive Healing Massage:

Hi Belle, I feel so much better, I can’t thank you enough. I loved every part of your massage.
I’m feeling a little tight and sore still and have been using my heat pack but definitely better than I have in months.
Im looking forward to my next appointment in your new rooms in cronulla.

Sue 48yrs.

Sue came to see me because she had heard I did things a little differently in my approach to healing in my clinic! She was anxious to see her usual remedial massage therapist, because the one she had been seeing often gave her bruises (she bruises easily : key indicator of nervous system dysregulation) and she knew she was in for days of pain after the massage.
Her pain spots were in her upper neck shoulders area, and she was stiff and sore all over. Her stress levels were high, and she was not feeling like herself.
I booked her in for an Intuitive Healing Massage (NOT REMEDIAL per se) because as so often happens a person comes in for a remedial massage, but what they actually need is Trauma Releasing/ Healing.
The body stores every memory and every trauma in the muscles, joints, tissues, cells of the body. Sometimes they release on their own, sometimes they hold more and more energy. This is when you get that weighed down and heavy feeling, or you develop “40yr old shoulder” pain. etc.
It creeps in, long after the trauma / event has passed, and you don’t connect the dots.
However your body always remembers. Your body is the wisest of creations, and knows exactly what is going on and uses pain and stiffness to show you. The secret is learning the language of your body.
Pain and stiffness DOES NOT MEAN pushing thru and smashing out another PT session! (this is called distraction).When we are in our forties we cannot attack our body like we did in our twenties (and get away with it)! The body needs gentleness, space and time to unwind, relax and allow healing to come.
It DOES NOT NEED more stress and strain on the body.
Of course I explained this to Sue and she hesitated…and she thought I was reading her mind when I said “taking it slower, or stopping altogether wont make you fat” (that’s what she was thinking!)What WILL make you fatter is increasing stress hormones in the body (thru intense fitness programs designed for twenty year olds!)
In order to help the body heal we slow down, tone and regulate the nervous system, release the stuck energy and give the body time to let go. Healing takes time, but you can enjoy it along the way. It doesnt need to be aggressive, nor does it need to be painful. (and once it is released you will be amazed at how good you feel, and how you CAN go back to more intense workouts).
Pain does not equal gain when it comes to healing (although sometimes facing your deepest self feels painful.)
An intuitive healing massage is more than just remedial massage, deep tissue therapy and a little reiki on the side. It is about trauma releasing exercises, breathwork and meditation too. It is about curating a specialised treatment for YOUR body and mind so that YOU begin to heal in the MOST beneficial way possible.
If you have been having regular remedial massage that is HARD and makes you cry a little – then you are probably doing it wrong.
(There is a place for a massage like this, but not for middle aged women who are stressed out, burned out, fatigued, peri-menopausal and feeling at the end of their tether!)
Kindness and gentleness is the KEY to healing your aches and pains. Particularly if you have every test under the sun and the doc has come back to you with “I think its just stress/anxiety/depression”. (This can be the MOST frustrating diagnosis ever because you want there to be an easy magic pill fix, but unfortunately it is going to mean a change in lifestyle, attitude and approach to heal!)
If this post has resonated for you, then I encourage you to get in touch and have a chat with me about how I can help you. There is no time like the present to start feeling as good as Sue!
Belle xx

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How to Let Go (for good)

“How do you let things go Belle?

I have tried so hard and I just cant seem to do it.”

-many clients

I get asked this on a weekly basis by people with warm, loving hearts, who have been hurt, disappointed, let down, and treated badly by the people in their life that meant something to them.

How do you let it go?

All the nasty words.

All the careless mistakes.

All the accusations.

All the time-wasting.

All the sucking the air out of the room.

All the thankless times.

How?

You just decided that enough is enough.

Your thoughts will continue to “think you” if you don’t start catching them as they arise. You will find yourself down the rabbit hole within seconds if you keep playing out the scenarios of what they did (or didnt) do, in your head.

Have you ever had THAT conversation with them, in your car, or in the mirror? Saying all the RIGHT things you SHOULD have said at the time! To REALLY show them YOU CANT BE TREATED LIKE THIS ANYMORE !!!!

Yeah. Most of us have been there at least once. If not a hundred times. You are acting subconsciously in those moments when someone is taking advantage of you, but you dont speak up. Or when you let something slide, only to feel it festering later after they have gone. OR when you get that feeling in your gut that something isnt right, but you ignore it.

Time doesnt heal – it simply pushes down your feelings to be triggered by someone else, or to fester and rise at an unwelcome time. Intentional healing heals.

It means you make a decision to not allow those thoughts air time anymore. When they come up, you acknowledge and then evaluate what is in your control. I will take you thru the steps of the #AASERTmethod of coaching on how you might tackle this major self-sabotage issue that many people go thru:

Step 1: Acknowledgeonce you identify what is happening you can then begin the process of change.

Step 2: Accept the past happened. It did. Accept it. Just stay in this place for a second. (Don’t worry, we will move on, but for now, just accept that this person DID say or do what they did. you cannot change it.

Step 3: Surrender
Give OVER. Don’t give IN. Sit within the feelings, be with them, don’t resist that they are there. Honour your feelings. Completely. Without reservation. You are angry. Feel it
You are hurt. Feel it.
You are sad. Feel it.
You are feeling what truly is. but your feelings aren’t necessarily “truth”.
There IS a BIG difference. (if you don’t know the difference between “truth” and what you are feeling being “true to you” then we can work at this step to free you from the myths of “truth”. (They are a huge sabotage issue that can keep you stuck).

Step 4: Evaluate what is in your control
Can you change the past? No. Accept it happened.
Can you change them? No. accept this is what they did/said.
Can you say something? Yes
Can you choose to ignore? Yes
Can you change how you respond to it if it happens again? Yes
Can you change their behaviour when you respond? No.
Can you control your triggers? Yes (good) No (then THIS is where we work together to release them)

Step 5: Reframe how you think about it(this is the real step of healing in the process)When you look at the issue without emotion, you can see a different point of view.
What have you learned about yourself? (triggers? preferences? values?)
What have you learned about them? (they’re human. They aren’t perfect. They are acting off their own values, triggers and desires.)
What have you realised is most important in this situation? (to be right, to be heard, to be apologised to, to forgive? to move forward? to move past it? to release the friendship?
Learning is the path to healing. Learn the lesson and you won’t keep having to repeat it.

Step 6: Trust (yourself) Trust (the process)
Once you have made it thru and learned the lessons then you will be free to use the #AASERTmethod quickly and easily when anything comes up for you. Trusting is NOT about having no issues, it is about knowing what to do when the issues arise. The more you clear the energy around what has been coming up, the less you will attract. The less it will come up.
When you have been through a situation that has shaken you to your core, you may not trust yourself in the beginning…but using the AASERT method, it will re-empower you and your trust in self again.

Healing takes time. The AASERT method gives you a tool to help you gain the confidence to self-heal and to be your own coach. I use both Emotion Code to release the emotions and also AASERT in my Accountability Coaching sessions in order to FAST TRACK you into an empowered place of which to move forward and ultimately LET GO!

Want to get started and save over $150 – get on it! Let that shit go and start THRIVING again!

Book your Package here

Your Fast Start package includes 45min initial coaching session plus 3 x 30min sessions to keep you on track for a month.
Each session is to be taken 1 week apart where possible (max 10 days). This will keep you motivated and committed to reaching your goals.

Why have a coach?

Because if you could have done it alone by now you would have!
A quick month of coaching could save you hundreds of hours in time wasted or money lost.

Why coach with Belle?
Belle is a woman who goes after what she wants, is a straight talker and can see through any self-sabotage blocks. She has been coaching men and women to help them achieve their own unique successes in all areas of their life since 2012.
With Belle on your side, you are assured of success. She will offer you clear guidelines for you to work towards in order to go after what you are wanting, and see real results.

What areas can I receive coaching in?

Belle is an expert in helping healers, counsellors, massage therapists, kinesiologists, nutritionists and yogis who are wanting to start their business, or start over (in a more productive and focused way).

She has 16yrs experience in social media, branding, mindset and marketing for a self employed healer. She will bring her personal experience as well as industry knowledge to help you reach your goals.

Belle can also help you to take control of your personal life, in terms of career or relationships or health and wellbeing.

Anything you are wanting to focus upon, Belle will give you the tools, the feedback and direction you need to make it happen.

You can be assured that you will receive the mentoring you need for your personal life or for your business dreams.

Are all coaches the same?
HELL NO!
Some are amazing.
Some just take your money.
Some don’t even remember what your goals are, or what is important to you.
Belle is committed to working closely with her coaching clients so they feel supported, encouraged and most of all…accountable.

Not quite sure? Book a Discovery Call. Let’s Chat.

Book a Discovery Call
See if this is right for you

Get your goals sorted and your dreams realised

tick off your goals

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Is your Job making you sick?

Have you ever wondered if your job is making you sick?
Whether your current way of working is keeping you in “survival mode” because of the “urgency” of all your projects and how you must act immediately and be available 24/7?

Are the constant headaches, the neck and shoulder tension, the aching lower back and the tummy bloating and pain is all a result of a really stressful job?
Is the anxiety you feel, the constant nervy feeling in your body, the restless legs and the the lack of energy all a result of your job stress?

Do you refuse to take time off even when you are sick with the snott monster and just want to sleep, because you have a fear of taking sick leave because of what other people think?

Do you push through and open your computer even when your whole body hurts?

I have worked with countless people during the pandemic and ALL of them have worked while they had virus symptoms.
ALL OF THEM.

Isn’t that a sad statistic?
It makes me wonder what kind of illness will actually justify you taking time off to rest, relax, sleep and convalesce?
I mean – how sick do you need to get in order to actually give yourself time to heal?

The problem is that we have skewed the priorities of what is important and have decided that “letting others down” is more important than recovering from an illness our bodies have never had to fight before.

If there is one time in our lives that it is important to give our bodies rest, it is during this pandemic and we have symptoms!

The hustle of having to face emergency after emergency is not limited to hospitals – it can be bosses who yell, are moody, are unpredictable and lack empathy that will create stress in your mind, which moves to your body.
Time critical projects, and the feeling that you simply MUST keep grinding otherwise your job may be on the line, builds in your system as levels of stress hormone, which puts pressure on your heart and other organs.

In my opinion Working From Home has been the WORST thing to happen to workers since industrialisation! Why? Because it means you are working from the moment you wake up – unless you have excellent work/life boundaries in place.

Hands up if you have started work at 7am, (while the house was quiet) and worked through lunch, and then quickly put washing out, then vacuumed, then picked the kids up from school and then cooked dinner and then “finished off those last few things” after 8pm?

And please don’t forget what happened to your nervous system during lockdown, when you had to work a 40+hour week AS WELL AS managing the home schooling / preschool care AND all meal times and the increase in household cleaning due to everyone being home 24/7.

Our bodies were simply not designed to operate at high intensity all the time. We are designed to rebalance, recuperate and come back to a baseline.

The question I ask is, could your job be making you sick?

The answer is a resounding YES. Look at how many companies have defibrillators in their buildings. I am not saying the relationship is causal, but I do believe that the constant stress workers are under, plus interpersonal relationship strains, financial pressure and questionable lifestyle habits all create the perfect environment for cardiac events. And that time-sensitive project may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

I believe it is time that we started to re-prioritise how we view work and what it is doing to our wellbeing.

It is important for each worker to take personal responsibility for their own care and wellbeing. The old adage – if you don’t care about yourself, no one else will, holds true here.
This also includes employers taking responsibility for the environment they create for themselves and others.
The way we live in our modern world is very different to centuries past, however the hustle is only increasing, and the demands on our physical and mental wellbeing is increasing. There is no end in sight except for a holiday each year (if you can afford it) and then it is right back into the grind.

As someone who is living and working in their ideal career, and has created a workplace that I love to go to, I feel sad that this is not the experience of many people I work with. The majority only work because they “have to” and if they could they would retire as early as possible. Or they would work in a different industry for lower pay if they could afford it.


The feeling of being trapped by your work, or the number of hours you must work is a key ingredient that causes a spike in the stress hormones in your body and makes you feel pretty miserable in general. Cranky, irritable, poor sleep, hormonal shifts, weight gain, depression and increased anxiety are all to be expected when 5 days per week you are hating having to work, but feel that you “must”.

What can you do about it?

There are plenty of options. The first is to quit.
However, I am pretty sure that you will give me a myriad of excuses as to why this is absolutely not the solution.
The second option is to ask for a pay rise – but would more money make you like your job more?
The third option – drop the number of days you work – but can you live on a reduced income? (Most people can, they just don’t want to make those budget adjustments).
You could look for another job – but this requires effort that you may not have the energy for.
You could begin studying so you can move into the career that you dream of – but this will bring up lots of limiting beliefs and lack of confidence or self -esteem issues you have buried. And this may feel too scary to tackle right now.

^^^^^ This is the list my clients give me and all the excuses that arise when we look at those options.

Here is another way

You can choose to work on the thought patterns that make you stressed, your beliefs around work and why you keep showing up the way you do. You can release the trapped emotions that are keeping you stuck in the loop of hustle and grind. You can work on developing incredible self-esteem so you can put firm work boundaries in place which ensures rest and recovery as part of your workday.

Emotion Code and Energy Healing are the tools that WILL turn your life around. but don’t expect a magic healing in one session! There is a process you need to undergo in order to un-pack the energy strands you are holding, and to re-wire your brain to THRIVE on rest rather than STRESS!

This is why I have created a Nervous System Balance program that is especially for people who are feeling the effects of a high-stress work-life and who want to enjoy their life and start thriving again.

The program is designed to be completed over 6-8 weeks, and involves 6 90min balancing sessions. I will help you to develop a quick daily practice of simple to follow exercises that are proven to re-balance your nervous system, which will reduce the stress you feel in your body.
– identify your blocks and self-sabotage that keep you feeling stuck
– learn how to reduce the mental chatter that keeps you stressed
– sleep better
– feel more calm
– feel more in control of your life
– improve your relationships
– get your mojo back
– enjoy life again

Book your Nervous System Reset Package
Book your first program session here

Don’t wait until you get really sick before you start to take back control and turn your life around.

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PTSD – you CAN heal with the proper support

Recently on the Today show Karl Stefanovic asked Dr Nick Coatsworth if he was a “bit broken” after discussing his experience with PTSD.

So misguided Karl.

It’s these kinds of loose comments that enforce the PTSD stigma that so many people are living with.
Too many people are living with the effects of trauma, but because they weren’t in a war zone, or experienced a violent assault, they don’t believe they have anything to complain about.
Too many people are now experiencing being re-traumatised after an abusive relationship, which ignites the childhood trauma lying dormant, festering below the surface and has “suddenly” surfaced around midlife.

Mid life crisis? Or PTSD from unresolved trauma?

It’s time the stigma was removed and it is time that people started to understand that in this modern world where we are using our noggin in a vastly different way than centuries before, we are evolving to experience chronic issues in the mind…rather than the body breaking down from back-breaking physical work that our ancestors experienced in the preceding centuries.

The link between stress, chronic stress and physical illness is well researched and known – albeit the mechanism and the tipping point of creating illness is not well understood (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3341916/).
We know that people living with trauma that hasnt been processed or resolved will manifest at some point in the course of someone’s life. This will be determined by their personality, coping style or support system. What is important to remember is that the support structure around a person is integral in helping them to seek and enter support with professionals. If you notice a loved one is not doing ok, or if they are saying things that you find concerning, or if their behaviour changes markedly, then help them to get help. GP, psych, counsellor – are all good places to start. Help them to know that asking for help is the strongest place to be, and that you are there for them. Don’t try to fix them yourself – that’s not your job. Your job is to be there for them, check on them, and motivate them to get help for themselves. That’s all.


Research shows that a substantial number of people identified with PTSD recover within 24mths https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28720167/
There is a high prevalence of those who suffer from PTSD will develop alcohol or drug abuse. This impacts relationships, affects children and ability to sustain gainful employment (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/).

We are predominantly at a desk; we are more sedentary; we spend hours a day in front of a screen. Our lifestyle has changed, and therefore our lifestyle illnesses have changed too. We are living longer, but often that means we are holding more trauma, or living less-than-healthy lives, being kept alive by medications, and experiencing depression and trauma throughout this extended life span (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070773/)

If someone had a broken leg, had the cast on, then went thru rehab and started to learn to walk and run again – would you say they are a “bit broken” ?
Or would you say they are recovering/recovered?

PTSD is not lifelong in ALL cases. It is NOT something to endure and learn to live with in ALL cases.

How does PTSD happen?
Literature shows that PTSD results from an unexpected sudden traumatic stressor. This can be from war (which is what most people think of), but it can also be from a violent assault, accident, or natural disaster.
Childhood trauma often is a result of sexual assault or even the death of a loved one. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/ )
What I believe is the MOST important part of understanding PTSD is that it is subjective to the person experiencing the trauma. If they believe it is traumatic, then it is.

A traumatic event to one person may not be identified as being traumatic to another person. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you are comparing how you feel to what others have endured, you may be traumatising yourself even further. Conversely if you are a professional who works with people living with PTSD it is important to remember that you are working with perception and not with what you consider to be “real” (https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.607612)

In the burgeoning area of PTSD after narcissistic abuse, we see people who have never been in a warzone, never experienced a vicious assault. Still, they may have a history of people-pleasing and “over-giving”.
Being in an unhealthy or toxic relationship absolutely causes trauma within the individual. The fallout after the relationship ends can endure for years – particularly if there are children involved.

With the stakes being so high, there is never a better time than right now to get help for PTSD symptoms no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to you, or the people around you.

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Why do we want to retreat when life feels too hard?

Dreaming of life off-grid? There is a similar theme I am hearing lately of people wanting to retreat and run to a place that is ‘off grid’ and away from all the people or circumstances that stress them; concern them or make them feel fear about life and the future of the world in general.

It causes a great deal of anxiety in the people who are feeling this way, as quite often they are normally so socially engaged and involved. It causes disrupted sleep patterns, a lack of motivation to do healthy daily habits and quite often affects relationships due to changes in mood and interests.

So what is happening and why the sudden change?

It turns out that this is not such a sudden change, rather it has been happening in the cells of their body long before they are conscious of what is going on.

Bruce Lipton, PhD explains an experiment he conducted in The Biology of Belief that isolated cells in a petri dish. He observed that cells will move towards “nutrients” and away from “toxins” when they are in a petri dish. The cells will not go in both directions at the same time. It’s a case of one or the other. He also refers to this as the cells being in “growth” or “protection” states respectively. This movement towards what is good/healthy or away from what is bad/unhealthy is observed to be an instinctual response to support the health of the cells and prevent dis-ease of the cells.

Therefore, if this is happening on a cellular level in an organism, you can be sure this is happening on a global scale for the entire being itself.

Let’s look at what happens when we are engrossed in a conversation with someone. We lean in, we might touch their arm, and we will step towards the other person.

The opposite is true if we do not like a person, or we do not like what is being said. We instinctually step back (retreat) as a form of protection against the conversation.

The body and now the mind is quite literally responding to move away from perceived toxicity and a need to protect oneself.

This is what is happening when a person desires to run away and “get off grid” due to the pandemic, the loss of freedoms, the angst, the uncertainty, and the disbelief at what they are perceiving in the world today.

Many of the anti-vax movement are disillusioned by what they are seeing (perceiving) in the world today, which produces a visceral (deep bodily sensation) response which culminates in this wanting or yearning for a simpler life, away from the restrictions and imposed or perceived controls by the government.

But it isn’t only the “anti-vaxxers” who are wanting to run away from all the people! It is the average John or Jane who are tired of the hustle and bustle of daily life, and are feeling a call to slow down and create a more simplistic life.

If you recognise this feeling inside of you – this urge to just get away from all the people and take your family to go live a simpler life of ease and flow…remember you can find this now in this moment. It is all about your perception. Just as Dr Lipton showed in the petri dish, what you think about, you will become. Therefore you actually do get to make the choice to think of yourself as free or as controlled. Freedom starts in the mind, and then flows out into your physical being.

Our perceptions are what controls our cells, it is not the other way around. Our brain is a powerful controller, let me show you:

Imagine a red flower. See it bright shiny and red.

You can do that can’t you?

Now I want you to imagine you are on a beach in the warm sun, drink in hand and you can feel the gentle sea breeze cooling you down.

You can do that too can’t you?

But how? You most likely aren’t on a beach right now (if you are, then imagine you are in the snow with your bathing suit on!)

Our mind has the ability to imagine, dream up or create pictures in our mind – and then our mind will perceive sensations in our body. If it is warm sun, you can imagine this sensation. If it is cold snow you can imagine this too.

The same is with a perception of fear. If you have been feeling the urge to run and live off-grid then I imagine you are wondering what sort of future you are raising your children to live in? This often invokes a fear-response.

It could be called Future-Traumatic Stress Disorder (FTSD).

The results are similar though – the body kicks off into a stress response from a trigger. In the case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the event has already happened, and the person’s nervous system and processing centre are not working in present state and time. It is muscle memory, visceral memory, like a jamming of the circuits that affects the entire body.The same can be said in a lesser degree for those experiencing FTSD. They are effectively ‘jamming their circuits’ by focusing on what hasn’t yet happened, but get angry, frustrated or scared by just thinking about the future.

This doesn’t mean thinking about and planning for the future isn’t necessary and a good strategy. The problem is when the future thinking becomes pathological and can affect the mood and behaviour of a person in present state and time.

The desire to retreat and go “off grid” is a common sentiment by those who are worried about the future of the world in which they live. Whether the world at large or their corner of the world.

Just speak to people in major cities and they will tell you “I have to get out of the city mate”. Pertaining to the heavy lockdowns, job losses, loss of freedom to move around, mandates and more.

This is why it is important to understand what is happening in their bodies at a cellular level as well as at the level of the mind so that healing can be undertaken to restore balance.

When the lockdowns are removed, the world goes back to a new normal. However the body is still holding the energy of the experience. Suspicion can sneak in, uncertainty can become the default mode of daily life, and anxiety begins to sky-rocket. The slightest upset to normal life and you can find yourself having an extreme or unusual reaction, and you wonder why.

Well its just biology and a bit of energetics. Your cells have been locked in “protection” mode. They aren’t growing, they aren’t replacing themselves, they aren’t functioning in a mode of health that comes when you are balanced and feeling calm and safe. No wonder you are tired all the time can’t sleep or switch off. Your skin might look dull, your hair lifeless, your tummy gives you some trouble, and don’t even talk to me about the reflux – off the chart lately!

All you need is to retreat into the country, or to a deserted beach somewhere far from the city to leave the bright lights and the hustle, and throw your phone in the bin. Right?

Wrong. You’ll be taking your cells with you.

The only way to manage this is to dedicate some time daily to rebalancing your entire nervous system and quieting your mind. However when you are in a highly up-regulated state this is near impossible! Your mind isn’t calm and clear, your mind is busy, it is constantly trying to figure things out and it is doing itself in.
So here is what I suggest you do – start gently. Erase the desire to clear your mind, and simply focus on filling it – with a really deep breath in. Then a really long slow exhale.

Take some time to designate 5mins every day to resting, deep breathing and restoring yourself. Daily conscious habits to bring your baseline back to the present-tense so you aren’t freaking yourself out with future thinking.

Concentrate on how good it feels to go outside and sit on the grass and breathe deeply. Play your favourite music, sit in the shade and enjoy the breeze. Watch a motivational speaker while you sit near a tree and breathe deeply.
Notice I am not saying “close your eyes and focus on nothing” ? That is because it is impossible to go from a state of high alert to a state of clear and calm in only one step. You need a few more steps in between.

It takes discipline to begin to change the narrative in your mind, so that you are affirming life and health for yourself, rather than getting stuck in the downward spiral of fear and suspicion.

So start with: sitting down. Listening to something that makes you feel good. Breathe deeply.

I suggest dedicating 5minutes of this to start with. It will be enough, and it will give you really good results quickly. The simplicity of this may make you feel like it is not enough, however I encourage you to trust the process of learning how to unwind and come back into balance in your nervous system.

Now more than ever it is imperative to learn the warning signs in our body and mind when we are overstimulated by the external world and also by our own mind. Stress, anxiety, depression, apathy and loss of happiness in daily life are all signs that you are overdoing it and need to down-regulate.

Don’t wait. Begin today and start feeling better.

Better yet, why not set aside a full day for you to retreat with other women at one of my upcoming day retreats in the south of Sydney.

contact me for details!

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Trauma Bonding

Let’s talk about empaths and narcissists in an intimate relationship.

It is a recipe for destruction. It can lead to death…literally and figuratively. Every time we hear about a domestic violence case on the news, you can be sure that this escalated over time, and the person who was experiencing the violence would have been in a toxic relationship, with many red flags from the beginning. There would have been many moments when they realised they should have left, however something kept them stuck.
NEVER is it okay to blame the victim, however it is important to understand psychologically what is happening.

Trauma bonding is the term used to describe what happens when a person is involved in a cycle of abuse, devaluation and then positive reinforcement. In a relationship with a person with narcissistic traits, you will experience the cycle of love-bombing/idealisation; devaluation; discard; hoovering (where they try to suck you back in if you try to leave the relationship). The inability of a victim to leave or distance themselves from an abusive partner is part of the cycle of abuse with a person with narcissistic traits.


An empath is defined by the Oxford dictionary as a “science fiction” term and is “a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.” In the spiritual world, people froth their empathic nature, and believe it is part of their “duty” in life, to feel other people’s feelings deeply. They believe it so much like it is their “cross to bear”. (Read more in my blog “Am I an Empath” and learn how to heal this myth.)

An empath is someone who is naturally a care-giver, and very often someone who puts other’s needs before themselves. They might know they do this, or they may not. They may believe that this makes them a good person, and may fear being selfish if they choose to look after themselves first. An empath will often see the good in people, and forgive quickly the bad behaviour – even when they are the victim of bad behaviour. They will make allowances and excuses “he didn’t mean it”, “he does that when he is drunk, but never when he isn’t”, “she is just blowing off steam”. “she treats me well when no-one is around”.

Because you hold an inherent belief that people are good on the inside you refuse to see the other person for who they truly are – only their potential. And that is where you run into trouble. This inability to acknowledge bad behaviour, (or worse – you internalise it and make it about you needing to do more or be more), can be extremely self-destructive to an empath. When you are in a narcissistic relationship, or at least a toxic one, you will notice that the person’s words NEVER match their actions. Let this be your #1 RED FLAG.
(From a spiritual perspective all people are made from the source, however this doesn’t make them necessarily “good for you”.)

You may make the decision to leave, and start making plans, and even find support from friends and family or professionals. But you get pulled back in by the nice gestures, the grand gestures, the apologies, the promises to change. And things may be good for a while. A week or a month. But sure enough the behaviour goes back to how it always was – and oftentimes it gets worse. Much worse. Because now you know you should have left before, but you chickened out and couldn’t go through with it, because he/she/they “said they would change and it would be better”.
Sound familiar?
It never changes for long. It always reverts to how it was. And it hurts even more and the trauma bond increases. The periods of positive reinforcement become fewer and further between the abuse periods

Trauma bonding is a very powerful force that can make friends and family really frustrated with you, and make you frustrated with yourself. So let’s just acknowledge that for a moment. And it is OK if those around you are frustrated. (and if you are frustrated with yourself!)
So let’s use this energy and transmute it into action!

You know that you know that your know that this relationship is toxic.
And you also know that is is REALLY SCARY to contemplate change.
All good.
It IS scary.
But you know what is more scary? Seeing how deep the damage can go – to your physical body, you emotional body, your mental body and your spiritual body. (There are many people staying in relationships long past their due date who have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, mental health issues and contemplating suicide.)

STEPS TO TAKE:

So the starting place is to acknowledge what is.

The second step is to seek support from a professional who is experienced in working with people who are experiencing narcissistic abuse, and

And then naturally the third step is that you leave properly this time. For good. And you don’t go back for a second round or a third. (However this is REALLY difficult if you haven’t done any healing work on yourself before hand. I would even go so far as to say it is virtually impossible to leave without healing and counselling.)

Unless you have strong boundaries and have healed…(which can take a while) you will NOT be able to make a plan to leave and LEAVE FOR GOOD. So begin to heal BEFORE you leave and then you will feel strong and grounded for the road ahead.

Belle

Getting help from a professional who can help you identify the trauma bond, and identify the areas of trapped emotions you hold is the natural first step for anyone who is considering leaving a toxic relationship. The trauma bond is REAL, and the pattern keeps repeating itself over and over until you have healed enough that you can remove yourself.

Gift yourself this time and space so you can identify WHY you are in this relationship and HOW you can be released from the trauma bond.

Belle is an experienced counsellor and spiritual healer who will work with you to release your triggers and emotions that are trapped so you can feel stronger and more empowered.
Book your online or in-person session now

Book Here
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Healing after Narcissistic Abuse

As someone who has lived in a narc abuse situation and felt the immense pain of losing self-confidence, zest for life, grounding, sense of reality as far as what I knew I was seeing and feeling, but being told I wasn’t……it is dangerous and very damaging.

However, I hold no anger towards them anymore (oh yes, I went thru ALL the stages of grief, including anger, but I have moved thru to the lesson now)…

In order to heal and move forward, I had to go “no contact” and never go back. It was VERY painful. I felt like I had lost my life. My future. My happiness. But I HAD TO in order to gain my life and future and happiness again.

How did I heal? Thru working on the darkness – the Shadows – that were rising up in me. By choosing better mind habits and physical habits that supported healing and growth.

MANY people cycle in their narc relationship by GOING BACK, again and again – they keep HOPING it will change. But it doesn’t. It is very consistent. It feels like it gets worse every time – but it doesn’t, it is just that each time you GO BACK you have a renewed sense of hope that gets dashed…and it is THIS that hurts more and more.

They never change. Their insecure and fragile ego is the same – insecure and fragile.

BUT YOU CAN CHANGE...and you can take your power back and stop giving it away. You can CHOOSE to heal. And CHOOSE to make the heartbreaking choice to END THE MADNESS.

Your life depends on it. Truly it does. And unless you see the pattern and recognise your role in it, you will keep cycling. Feeling worse and worse each time. Until you have nothing left.

Don’t let yourself get to this place of utter brokenness – don’t allow yourself to get to this point.

EVERYONE can heal from this kind of relationship – you have to face your Victim part of self in the Shadows, and recognise the values and beliefs you are holding that have put you in this position. It comes down to personal responsibility and an acceptance of what is. The situation WILL NOT change AT ALL unless YOU begin to heal and make changes. And you need to do this REGARDLESS of whether the other person changes and does the work or not.

Their healing is NONE of your business. To think otherwise it is a form of co-dependence – and you need to address this too.

IF you are wanting to break the cycle, stop repeating the same patterns then get in touch. I can help you to heal and grow and get to know yourself again – on your terms!
I can help you access those parts of you in your Shadow, and release the energy strands of past lives and karma that is holding you in this pattern.

Get in touch,
Belle